Feeling
by demilylove
Summary: Jate. OneShot. Jack's POV, a little twist on 'The Hunting Party'. Please R&R :


**Feeling **

_Author's note: my version to 'The Haunting Party'. Sort of. Please R&R, with all the angsty Jate going around, I've been losing my will to write… :(_

The only time I ever felt something similar to that was when I saw Charlie hanging from a tree.

But in that moment, I knew it was all up to me. He's gone, and I need to bring him back. I can bring him back, I will bring him back.

And then they brought her out. And my gut turned upside down. My heart sank, my knees began to tremble… thank God it was dark. The last thing I needed was those others seeing how terrified I was of losing her. Tears instantly flooded my eyes, and the whole nonchalant-doesn't-let-anything-get-to-him-doctor cover-up went straight to hell. I couldn't face it. I couldn't bear to see her. The independent, doesn't-take-crap-from-anyone strong willed Kate I know, was being tied. And blindfolded.

"One…" Zeke started counting.

That's Kate. That's Kate's throat he's pressing that knife to.

"Two…" he continued.

If I'll wait another second, he'd slid her throat off. I knew that much was true. But then I started thinking about him sliding her throat off. And I was tongue tied. I wanted to open my mouth and say something, but nothing came out.

"STOP!" I yelled eventually, thanking God I found the words in time.

We all dropped our weapons, and Zeke threw Kate away to Sawyer's hands. Threw her. Like she was a ragged doll. I had to look away again. Look away from Sawyer untying her, Sawyer taking off the fabric that was shoved to her mouth. This wasn't about the so-called triangle. This was about not being able to face her in that state.

She makes me so vulnerable. She leaves me exposed. She makes me feel like I hoped I won't ever feel again.

"Jack…" she starts breathlessly, looking at me miserably.

And I just know, that if I take one look at her, I'll rush over to her and hug her. Hold her and make sure she never puts herself in danger ever again. Just because I can't face to see her that way. She makes me want to take care of her endlessly.

So I back off. I turn from her. I don't face her, I just gather the coldest tone I could possibly talk in and ask her if she's ok. She mumbles in acquiescence.

But she's not ok. I'm not ok. _We're_ not ok.

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"Would you please just talk to me?" she asks grabbing my hand and turning me to face her.

I just sigh and lower my sight. I can't talk to her. I can't even look at her. Knowing I was _this_ close to losing her… it's devastating.

"I'm sorry." She says not looking directly at me.

"Yeah. I'm sorry too." I reply and turn to leave again.

"Wait." She says grabbing my hand one more time, "I don't want us to be like this."

"And I didn't want you to come along, and you did." I answer calmly, "Do you have _any_ idea how annoying your impertinence is?"

"I didn't mean..." She starts lowering her head, "I just thought you didn't want me to come because of…"

"Us?" I ask and she looks up at me surprised, "all I wanted was for you to be safe, Kate."

"But Jack, I can take care of myself." She insists shaking her head.

"But you can't, Kate! You can't. Not when there are weapons and crazy men involved and you go out defenseless… why would you do that?" I ask tiredly.

"Because I'm sick of feeling useless around you." She replies in the same tone as mine.

"Kate…" I trail off as my voice breaks.

And despite trying to push it as farther back as humanly possible, it hits me. I don't want to feel this way, I just do.

I reach out one hand to grab her arm, and quickly lean in and kiss her passionately. it's like I'm scared I'd lose my nerves.

She replies, surprised, her hands coming up to my neck. Our first kiss was surprisingly synchronized. This time… we just blend into one another. I pull away breathlessly, cupping her cheek with my other hand and resting my forehead against hers.

"You're gonna run away again?" I ask, not daring to open my eyes.

She presses her lips softly against mine in respond and then pulls away. I open my eyes.

"I'm still here, aren't I?" she asks grinning.

"Oh, golly!" we hear Sawyer's voice and turn to him, immediately taking our hands off each other, "looks like there was a bright side to this trip after all."

I chuckle softly and look at him uneasy. He gives me a slight nod and flashes Kate a smile.

"Guess I should've listened to my mother when she told me to become a doctor… they always get the girls." He says while beginning to walk off.

I look at Kate amused and shrug, then take her hand as we follow Locke and Sawyer.


End file.
